In The Rain
by AlinaLotus
Summary: Because I know what it's like," Kakashi wrapped his fingers around Sakura's wrist. "What what's like?" Sakura asked, her breath shallow at the contact of his skin against hers. "To be left behind."


**Warnings are character death, very slight language, and mentions of self-harm. **

_She never slows down_  
_She doesn't know why but she knows that when she's all alone, feels like it's all coming down_  
_She won't turn around_  
_The shadows are long and she fears if she cries that first tear, the tears will not stop raining down_

_So stand in the rain_  
_Stand your ground_  
_Stand up when it's all crashing down_  
_You stand through the pain_  
_You won't drown_  
_And one day, what's lost can be found_  
_You stand in the rain_

_She won't make a sound_  
_Alone in this fight with herself and the fears whispering if she stands she'll fall down_  
_She wants to be found_  
_The only way out is through everything she's running from, wants to give up and lie down_

_So stand in the rain_  
_Stand your ground_  
_Stand up when it's all crashing down_  
_You stand through the pain_  
_You won't drown_

_And one day, whats lost can be found..._

He was following her again.

She could feel him there, smell the slight juniper scent of him on the breeze. She didn't know why he was bothering to conceal himself; he had to know she could sense his chakra. Him, whose chakra was so much more potent to her than any other ninja.

But she quickly moved on from that thought. She didn't want to broach the subject of what he really meant to her, not right now with the rain falling around her, heavy and so bitterly cold.

Not now, when she'd been left behind.

* * *

The pain feels good--it's more than a release. It's her salvation and the only constant thing in her life. She heals all of the cuts, except one on her wrist. She leaves it each time, and the scar is knotted and looks like a tree trunk, thick and aged and has smaller scars branching out of it.

Sakura keeps this to remember. To remember her limits, to remember to stop. If she has something to come back to, maybe her existence is not entirely hopeless.

She'd considered _it _before, more times than she'd ever admit, because death is absolute and you couldn't regret anything when there is nothing else to do. But she could never leave her mother like that, the only real family she now has. And she would probably be too scared, weak, to ever make that final move any way.

If there's one thing she knew about herself, it's that she, Haruno Sakura, is a fucking coward.

(she pretends that the real reason isn't a flash of silver hair and an easy, masked smile.)

* * *

He never made a sound. She knew he wouldn't--it was, after all, Hatake Kakashi. He was lethally silent, always. But she was curious--so curious! Why would he take the time out of his day to, in so many words, be with her? And why couldn't he be walking beside her instead of remaining hidden in the tree cover above?

"Naruto never wanted to die." Sakura said, and even the wind was still. She knew he was listening. "Sasuke maybe--I always thought that once he avenged his family, he'd kill himself. He seemed the type, didn't he? Complicated and seething, ever dramatic." Yes, Sasuke going down in a shower of blood and kunais was fitting.

She tried to take comfort, in the beginning, her best friends, her family, had been granted that much at least--a noble death, fighting for those they loved and in the end sacrificing what she always knew they would--thier lives, given so others could live.

But comfort was never the way of the shinobi and the reasons her brothers are not here cease to matter when the lonely shadows cover everything.

Only, that's not entirely true. Through the haze of every day life, past the strain of trying to live like nothing has happened, there's always been a beacon shining to her, _for_ her. She hadn't noticed it, really, until now, but looking back, hadn't the one thing besides the self-inflicted pain that had been there, always, was Kakashi?

She couldn't deny her feelings for him, really. The sight of him always made her feel less empty, like maybe one day--not soon, but _someday_--there wouldn't be the consuming sorrow, the self-loathing for not being enough, for not being able to save her teammates when it had mattered the most.

She was at the river's edge, now. She sat on a rock, and felt rather than saw him fall out of the trees, landing beside her. She looked up at him, his eye holding her gaze.

"But in the end, it doesn't matter that Naruto didn't want to die and Sasuke wanted to by his own hand. They're dead, and I'm not. And that's the truth of the matter, isn't it?"

Kakashi made a noise like a sigh, and he reached out, pulling Sakura into his arms, moving quicker than she'd ever seen him. Sakura could tell in that moment that she meant something to her ex-sensei, something like what he meant to her.

She wondered when everything had changed between them, when they'd become more aware of each other and when they'd closed their eyes on the boundaries that existed.

But boundaries are not the way of the shinobi. Sakura knew this.

"Why are you here?" she asks, her ear against his chest, revelling in the sound of his heart beating.

"Because I know what it's like," Kakashi wrapped his fingers around Sakura's wrist. His thumb found the bulging scar, like he always knew it was there.

"What what's like?" Sakura asked, her breath shallow at the contact of his skin against hers.

"To be left behind." He says, in that quiet way he has that, somehow, makes everything more meaningful.

His mouth ghosted the corner of her lips, and suddenly, _finally_, Sakura knew that she hadn't been left behind, not really. She'd been with Kakashi this whole time, and it's fitting that the man she loves is the one who saves her.

His arms tightened around her, and Sakura leaned into Kakashi's lips. She'd never have to be alone again.

**Feedback is, as ever, appreciated. Song used is Stand In The Rain by Superchick.**


End file.
